Thursday, August 2, 2007

The right time??

Question: Whats the right time to have a baby

Answer: When you feel you are ready for one

Easy question, easy answer…but I still feel I don’t know what the right time will be…I mean I feel like being a mother but the very thought of makes me a bit uncomfortable and nervous…….conceiving…and then the wait for 9 months…don’t really know how all of it will turn many doubts….and whether I will do fine and the little life inside me will do fine .. etc etc.

My friend often tease me by saying that there is no need to plan kids..God will just give them to you one day and Lo and Behold you shall be pregnant.

What was the right time for you??


Tharini said...

This post of yours takes me a loooong way back to that point in time when I decided I was ready. You see....I have always loved babies and wanted one of mine as soon as I could. We waited 1 and 1/2 years into our marriage, and it was I that decided we were ready.

Truly speaking, you are never really 'ready' for the enormous committment, responsibility and the hard work involved. You sort of grow into it when the situation is before you and its a complete on the job training. You will never be a perfect mother with a perfect child, but both of you will learn from each other and that's the best kind ofharmony there is.

The fact that u are asking these questions to yourself....perhaps it indicates that you are as ready as you can be. I wish you lots of peace with your decision.

On a last note, I cannot imagine life any other way....without my children....this is the best place in the world for me to be in.

Hope this helps.

the mad momma said...

I'll go with Tara. I waited a year after my wedding and felt I was ready.. I'd known my husband a long while and didnt need a longer adjustment period, so to speak. financially we werent very set, but i was very clear about what I wanted to do with my career. i think you need to know what you will do about your job incase you have a sickly pregnancy or God forbid, a sickly baby... anything. other than that... well, you've just got to take the plunge!

here's my post on it

Mommy said...

To Tharini
Thanks a lot.Your advice is precious.

To MM,
Thank you.

Asha said...

The right time. That's a good question. I would say that there is really no right time. I mean, the more you wait to get ready the more you will delay it. And in reality you will never be perfectly ready.

Just let it happen. The rest will take of itself. There things in life for which we can't wait till we have a doctorate in that subject. It won't make sense. Of course, give yourself some time with your husband (I don't know when you got married), because life will never be the same after kids.

As to how we came upon on the 'right time', may be I will do a post on that. You inspired me :)

GettingThereNow said...

Hey, thanks for dropping by!

Tharini, MM and Asha all said it - one never is fully ready for the responsibility. Even the second time around! With S, my older daughter, I was emotionally ready though I would have liked to delay it a bit more. With M, the little one, I thought I was more than ready - after all, I had been waiting for her for 5 long years! But no. It still took me by surprise and I still panic sometimes at the thought of being responsible for TWO lives.

That you are thinking over it so much is a good sign. I have seen women have a baby just because "they have nothing else to do" (true - my SIL's reason for having her first born) and regret it later (also true - she admitted to me later that it wasn't a good enough reason) You, on the other hand, will be fine since you have contemplated it so much and must know what you are getting into. Ofcourse, there will be surprises but motherhood will be much, much more than what you anticipated - in a positive sense.

Mommy said...

Hi gettingtherenow
Your words are truly encouraging.

Mommy said...

Hi Asha!
We got married in December 2006.
Thanks for this.
"Of course, give yourself some time with your husband because life will never be the same after kids."