Home Alone

As usual my husband has gone out of the country for one of his official tours for 15 days and as usual im having a hard time at home.The day time is fine coz im busy in office but when it comes to the evening im a bit reluctant to go home.

Im afraid of darkness…..and during these days I sleep with the lights on..i hardly sleep at all…
And yesterday I woke up at 2 in the night shouting HELP…was sweating and panting……..HELP. .till I realized that I was at home safe and sound..sleeping in the cozy bed…

There has to be some way to overcome this fear……when I become Mommy in the future how will my kids cope?? I would want them to be fearless and bold..
But before that I have to get over being scared by darkness/staying alone………


And some 4 days before ..there was thunder and lightning..believe me the sound of thunder was like Bombs crashing on our roof….i was alone…and in tears.


Both these times I dozed off towards the morning after reciting the Hanuman Chalisa endless times!!


Will I ever grow up??I mean I have never seen my Mother behaving like this..she has always been the fearless Mom.
Will I ever grow up?? If yes, it should be soon ..sooner than I become Mommy.


Will I ever outgrow the fear of darkness/being alone??